TO SAVE TIME FOR MANAGEMENT AND YOURSELF, PLEASE GIVE YOUR EXCUSES 
    BY NUMBER.
              THIS LIST COVERS MOST SITUATIONS.


 1.  THAT'S THE WAY WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT.

 2.  I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN A HURRY FOR IT.

 3.  THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW.

 4.  THAT'S NOT IN MY DEPARTMENT.

 5.  NO ONE TOLD ME TO GO AHEAD.

 6.  I'M WAITING FOR AN OK.

 7.  HOW DID I KNOW THIS WAS DIFFERENT?

 8.  I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT YOU MEANT.

 9.  WAIT'LL THE BOSS COMES BACK AND ASK HIM.

10.  I FORGOT.

11.  I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT.

12.  I'LL DO IT WHEN I GET AROUND TO IT.

13.  I'M SO BUSY, I JUST CAN'T GET AROUND TO IT.

14.  I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU.

15.  I WASN'T HIRED TO DO THAT.

16.  I'M NOT PAID TO DO THAT.

17.  I'M NOT PAID ENOUGH TO DO THAT.

18.  I COULDN'T FIND IT.

19.  THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT.

20.  THAT'S THE WAY (--AH HA--AH HA!)  I LIKE IT.

21.  IT SEEMED RIGHT AT THE TIME.

22.  IT SEEMED BETTER THIS WAY.

23.  THAT'S THE WAY THE CUSTOMER SAID HE WANTED IT.

24.  THAT'S THE WAY THE SALESMAN SAID THE CUSTOMER WANTED IT.

25.  THAT'S THE WAY MARKETING SAID THE CUSTOMER WANTED IT.

26.  THAT'S THE WAY ENGINEERING SAID IT SHOULD BE DONE.

27.  THAT'S THE WAY MANUFACTURING SAID IT SHOULD BE DONE.

28.  THAT'S THE WAY R&&D SAID THE CUSTOMER WOULD GET IT.

29.  THAT'S THE WAY I THOUGHT EVERYONE WANTED IT.

30.  THAT'S THE WAY I WAS TOLD TO DO IT.

31.  THAT'S THE WAY I WANTED TO DO IT.

32.  MARKETING SAID THE CUSTOMER REALLY DIDN'T NEED IT.

33.  ENGINEERING SAID THE CUSTOMER REALLY DIDN'T NEED IT.

34.  R&&D SAID NOBODY NEEDS IT.

35.  EVERYONE SAID NOBODY WOULD EVER NEED THAT.

36.  BOB YOUNG SAID IT WOULDN'T WORK.

37.  EVERYONE SAID IT WOULD WORK.

38.  EVERYONE SAID IT WOULD NEVER WORK.

39.  I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT.

40.  I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT RIGHT.

41.  I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

42.  I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

43.  I'LL DO IT AS SOON AS I GET A MACHINE.

44.  I'LL DO IT AS SOON AS I GET A MACHINE THAT WORKS.

45.  WHY SHOULD I DO IT IF IT'LL NEVER SELL?

46.  IT WAS DONE THAT WAY BECAUSE OF A F.U.F.A.

47.  BECAUSE IT'S COMPANY POLICY.

48.  THE BOSS SAID WE'LL FIX IT IN THE NEXT MAJOR RELEASE.

49.  THE BOSS SAID SHIP IT ANYWAY.

50.  THE MANAGEMENT SAID TO IGNORE IT UNTIL ENOUGH CUSTOMERS COMPLAIN.

51.  IT'S A SOFTWARE PROBLEM.

52.  IT'S A HARDWARE PROBLEM.

53.  IT'S A DESIGN PROBLEM.

54.  IT'S A MANAGEMENT PROBLEM.

55.  IT'S THE PARENT COMPANY'S PROBLEM.

56.  THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

57.  THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

58.  THAT'S THE CUSTOMER'S PROBLEM.

59.  THERE'S (HA HA) NO PROBLEM.

59A.  I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A PROBLEM.

60.  THERE WERE SO MANY PROBLEMS I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

61.  IT WASN'T ON MY PRIORITY LIST.

62.  SORRY, THE PRIORITY FOR THAT PROJECT IS TOO LOW!

63.  I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION.

64.  I DIDN'T HAVE THE RIGHT INFORMATION.

65.  IT WASN'T PLUGGED IN.

66.  IT WASN'T TURNED ON.

67.  YOU DIDN'T SEND IN A BUG REPORT.

68.  YOU DIDN'T SEND A CORE DUMP WITH YOUR BUG REPORT.

69.  YOU DIDN'T SEND A DUMP OF THE DATA WITH YOUR BUG REPORT.

70.  YOU DIDN'T GIVE ENOUGH INFORMATION FOR DIAGNOSIS.

71.  WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE BUG REPORT.

72.  WE NEVER GOT THE BUG REPORT.

73.  WE GOT THE TAPE, BUT CAN'T FIND THE BUG REPORT.

74.  WE FOUND THE BUG REPORT, BUT CAN'T FIND THE TAPE.

75.  WE ARE INVESTIGATING THE PROBLEM.

76.  WE ARE STILL INVESTIGATING THE PROBLEM.

77.  IT'S FIXED IN THE NEW SOFTWARE.

78.  THE NEW SOFTWARE ISN'T READY FOR RELEASE YET.

79.  THAT'S AN ENHANCEMENT, NOT A BUG.

80.  IT'S ON THE ENHANCEMENT LIST.

81.  WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?

82.  I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.

83.  I UNDERSTOOD THE QUESTION, BUT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM.

84.  I UNDERSTOOD THE PROBLEM, BUT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.

85.  I'LL DO IT AsGET THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT.

86.  I'LL DO IT AS SOON AS I GET THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT.

87.  IT'S NOT MY JOB.

88.  NO ES TRABAJO MIO.

89.  ICH WUSSTE NICHT DASS ICH ES TUN SOLL.

90.  I REALLY DON'T WORK HERE, I JUST LIKE TO PLAY WITH THE BUTTONS AND WATCH
     THE PRETTY LIGHTS BLINK!

91.  THE GUY THAT DID IT DOESN'T WORK HERE ANY LONGER.

92.  THE GUY THAT DID DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM.

93.  THE GUY THAT DID IT DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

94.  THE PROGRAMMER WHO DESIGNED IT FAILED TO USE COMMENTS AND HE'S ON VACATION
     IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE.

95.  IT'S NOT MY PROGRAM.

96.  DADDY OWNS THE COMPANY.

97.  DADDY OWNS THE COMPANY THAT ACQUIRED THE COMPANY.


Have any favorite excauses? Drop me email at [ggayland@ioa.com]
and I'll ad them to the list.  Thanks BYE: Gayland Bird